This past week was one of the best weeks of 2010 for me. The biggest factor was that my mom was in town from Virginia. I feel very blessed to have a mom that I both love, like and respect. I also really value her opinion. That is why I asked her what she thought (as an outsider peeking in) about my marriage and parenting of the boys. (Then, I braced myself for the answer.)
I was happy with what she said to say regarding her perception of my marriage. She thought that Reggie and I were great friends. (We are…he’s my best friend.) She also thought that we were created to be together. (I happen to agree!) She had no input regarding what we needed to change. (Of course, we’re not perfect. No couple is perfect.)
Parenting was another story. Overall, she thought that we are doing a really wonderful job with the boys. She said that we are patient and take the time to explain to the kids why we make the requests that we do. She also noted that both boys are really great kids – happy, intelligent and articulate. (That’s a nice grandma way of saying that they are talky talkies!) However, she did point out a couple of things that we needed to watch. I won’t mention the minor thing that she mentioned for Reggie, but he is aware/more mindful of it. As for me, she pointed out that I “spoil” Sean. (That’s a southern way of saying that I am over-indulgent when it comes to him.)
I thought about what she said and it is true. Although, I’m quick to say “Milk spoils…not kids!”, I understand her point. A huge part of it was that Sean’s unexpected surgery earlier this year really threw me for a loop. I have just been so happy that he was okay and such a little trooper (I cried. He didn’t…) through it all that I have been giving him extra leeway this year. Also, because I have spent so much time working this year (especially during the summer months), I tend to want to treasure the time that we do spend together even more. As such, I’m sure that I have allowed a lot of little things to slide more than I normally would have. Lastly, Sean is a charmer. He’s so sweet and cuddly. He gives great hugs and kisses and he always tells me “I love you Mommy.”
(See, he even throws in an “I love you Mommy” and a kiss when he’s talking about eggs?!)
In any event, I’m very grateful that my mom shared what she saw. She has raised five kids of her own, so she definitely knows a thing or two…or a gazillion. Most importantly, I know that my mom’s input is coming from a sincere, loving place. (If she was one of those critical, nit-picky moms, then I probably would not have asked for her opinion.) My mom sees the best in me and inspires me to a better person/wife/mother/etc. because of her powerful vision. I hope that my kids will think the same of me one day.
(Thanks Mom!)
On a side not, I did a Google search on “Parent Report Card” and found this interesting self evaluation. Personally, I think that I do better when my mom is doing the grading. She usually gives me “A”s because she grades on a mommy curve
I loved the sentence: I feel very blessed to have a mom that I both love, like and respect. I also really value her opinion.
As I’ve matured and grown I hear so many daughters talk about how they do not get along with their own mother. It’s the strangest thing to me. My mom and I are so much alike we clash, but you know there is love and I never disrespect her. My husband and I always ask our parents to grade us on our parenting skills too, so reading this post helped me realize we are normal. lol There is nothing wrong with a little southern spoiling (I’m from TN, but hubby is a Naval officer so we move alot).
Great post, keep on loving and spoiling those boys.
This is a wonderful post… Sean is so lucky to have you for his mom.
Oh, I loved this, Kim! Congrats on your mommy report card from your own mommy, very special and very particular. As an innocent bystander with a lot to learn herself, I think you’re pretty spectacular, too